it comes. You know, because you've seen the movie. A mad scientist commissioned by some half-baked government entity in the Middle East (or New York – same deal) will try to cure the common cold. Or stop aging genes. Or trigger limb regeneration for those poor souls who never learned how to properly use a table saw and cut off all their fingers. But instead, he'll create a genetic mutation that will quickly spiral out of control, break containment, and create lifeless zombies that will roam the Earth, eat your brains, and turn the entire planet into a living war. nightmare. It's not science fiction or fantasy…it's just a matter of time. These are the top 10 tools you need for a zombie apocalypse.
so what do you do simple. You can't stop it, but like all responsible citizens, you can prepare for the battles ahead and prepare for the worst. We're not talking katana swords and all those ridiculous bogus lists that are impractical, unattainable, or just take years of training to function. No, we're Pro Tool Reviews – which means we'll give you the right tools you need.
Survive.
We know the first thing you do is run to the gun store and clean it up, so let's assume you have an arsenal large enough to equip a small militia. So without further ado, here's our list – and an explanation of why each tool was chosen in particular. You might disagree with our list, but then again, you might be brain food as we A-Team our vehicles with zombie-piercing spikes, armor plates, and flamethrowers.
Husqvarna 120 Mark II 16″ Air Chain Saw
Look, I don't care what the movies say, a chainsaw is the worst melee weapon for a zombie attack. It won't let you cut zombies in half in time. What it will do is slow you down enough for fifteen of his buddies to grab you from behind. No, we chose this tool because it will give you the cutting ability to cut through doors for escape and survival (we recommend this 16 inch model for its best combination of strength and mobility).
Cities are empty, and who needs doors when you have a chainsaw? One of the top 10 tools we need for a zombie apocalypse, this beauty features an aspirated 38.2cc two-stroke engine that will run on a 50:1 air/oil mixture and be more or less Less stays indestructible. but you know what? Since Husqvarna dealers are pretty much everywhere, if you (unknown to me) had it embedded in the femur of a former NFL-nose-tackle-gone-undead, you could pick up a new one.
SOG Tactical Tomahawk F01T-N
If you're going to fight flesh-eating zombies, you'll want to get up close and personal. It's not because you wake up thinking "hey, I wonder what a dead man's breath smells like after chewing on a jogger for a few weeks." It's because it's inevitable. That's right, try as hard as you can, and you'll end up in close quarters combat with a living corpse that's trying to pass itself off as a walking Juggernaut. For those situations, there's the SOG Tactical Tomahawk F01T-N.
Now, we reviewed the 12.5-inch FastHawk Tomahawk a few years ago, but the Tactical is a full 3-1/4 inches longer, so it gives you more reach. This reach can result in decapitating a zombie or having a zombie take a chunk out of the back of your neck. We also like the SOG Tactical Tomahawk because it's lightweight and easy to carry. The head is stainless steel, so it will stay with you forever – and the blade can be sharpened much easier and faster than chopping watermelon with a machete…
Speaking of machetes…
Review: SOG FastHawk Tomahawk Review
SOGfari 18″ Machete MC-02
This tool is no joke. No, seriously – there's simply no way to make a cutlass interesting…too many times it's been used for horrific purposes. Still, the machete is a passive melee weapon if you're going to be fighting zombies hand-to-hand. SOG's SOGfari model features "a real working saw on the back of the blade with deep-cutting teeth". I think I'm in love.
As for the top 10 tools you need for a zombie apocalypse, you might even want to start here. With this tool, all you have to worry about is overswing. Beyond that, you'll likely get a high "kill score" from dead zombies due to the fact that this weapon has a good range and an extremely durable 3CR13 stainless steel blade. You'll probably want one in each hand so you can get all the "Darth Maul" on them. Great for situations where zombies are coming in through a plank window. When you chop off all their arms, they'll have a hard time breaking in and keeping you from getting a bite.
CRKT M16-14SF Special Forces Short Knife
If you're going to live in a post-apocalyptic world, you need a knife that's capable of fighting as well as being versatile… after all, you're carrying a lot of gear. While we're not jealous of using a full-size pocket tactical knife (maybe a 7-inch Chris Reeve Green Beret S30V?), the CRKT M16-14SF Special Forces Tanto by Kit Carsen offers a lot of versatility that we thought would be great It matters because you're splitting the responsibilities between survival and…well, that's pretty much it, isn't it?
From the aluminum handle to the serrated blade, the M16-14SF is an excellent folding knife. It can even be delivered with a spear point. In a zombie-infested world of survival of the fittest, the EDC knife has been redefined as a larger, more versatile category.
Review: CRKT M16-12ZER EMT tanto knife review Review: CRKT M21-02GL Kit Carson Folding Knife Review
Vaughan 15" Multi-Purpose Removal Tool
Look, I'm not saying you have to carry all of these things at once, but you might want to consider the Vaughan 15" Multi-Purpose Demolition Tool as your arsenal. If you're going to live in a post-apocalyptic world where structures rot and sanitation engineering is ignored, there's bound to be a lot of demolition work to be done. Need to tear down a wall or rebuild a safe house?
The Vaughan 15" Multi-Purpose Demolition Tool is made of carbon steel. It's sure to become your go-to tool. The Vaughan Demo Rod is certainly not a precision piece of equipment, it can tear through wood and steel nails like nothing else – if there's something nasty loitering behind you while you're contemplating your next move, the tapered hammer face will definitely come in handy . If you can't stand the extra weight, Vaughan also makes traditional crowbars – but where's the fun?
See also: Stanley Fubar Utility Bar Review
Ford F-650 Crew Cab Cummins Diesel Work Truck
Who said you had to fight the undead in a station wagon or minivan? No, seriously, who? I want to kill them first, even if they are already dead. No, if we're going to stockpile our arsenal and be able to pick up the occasional stray on the road, we've got to be able to push through barricades without fear of damaging the precious, delicate radiators on our underserved vehicles. We also need horsepower – a lot. No, while some of you may dream of driving an unused Ferrari or an untamed muscle car, we are lifting ourselves "up" into diesels fit for driving a road littered with so many abandoned humans.
Of the top 10 tools you need for a zombie apocalypse, you probably want to get this one early on…you know, practice driving it. In a world where electric cars have been rendered useless overnight, diesel reigns supreme.
The F-650 is a well-known powerhouse, and the engine is built to last. It should get through concrete barricades and the occasional Toyota Prius that blocks the interstate. This truck rules the top 10 tools we need for our zombie apocalypse. No one likes fighting zombies alone – at least not for long. Add in the double cab option and make sure you have plenty of room to pick up friends along the way. I know what you're thinking – why not go with the obvious choice, the Hummer H1? Because we love riding in style, here's why. Also, if we want a tank, we go to the nearest base and get an actual tank.
Buy the F-650… (just kidding, you can't afford it).
Dremel 2200-01 Versa Flame Butane Flashlight
Hey, if you can't make a fire, you probably won't live long. Electricity doesn't last forever, and no idea how much traction a cheap lighter will have when the wind picks up or the weather starts to get cold and wet. The Dremel 2200-01 Versa Flame Butane Flashlight features a quick-ignition design for quick ignition.
It features one-touch operation, and the desk stand keeps your hands free when you need it. Best of all, the piezoelectric ignition system requires no electrical connections. It lit a blue torch flame for over an hour. Not only can you start a fire, but you can ignite a walking dead in 3 seconds – provided they have some flammable clothing on their hulking hides. Oh, and if the zombies end up being more like Dawn of the Dead sprinting at full speed than Romero's foot-per-minute Night of the Living Dead, you might want to pack some propellant.
Of the top 10 tools you need for a zombie apocalypse, you probably already have this one. If so, great. Still, buy a few more cans of butane.
Coast HP7 LED Flashlight
I don't care what anyone says, this is the flashlight I carry with me on my adventures in search of food and supplies. Amidst the wreckage of global economic and social collapse, the HP7 is my go-to flashlight, mostly because it can practically burn a hole in the sky, and its 207 lumen output beam is incredibly powerful.
Meanwhile, you can twist the lens hood so it delivers a wide, even beam covering an incredibly large area while you spot the bad guys and maybe some hiding places. Did I also mention that any eyeballs will light up within a 1/4 mile radius? Nothing…I mean when you have this light, nothing will sneak up on you. Coast also makes bigger and brighter flashlights, but the HP7 has the perfect middle ground of not weighing you down and bringing a level of versatility that we think is hard to beat.
For those of you who are more military-minded, you might wonder why a pair of night vision goggles isn't included in our top 10 tools for a zombie apocalypse. Honestly, we don't know – that's a good suggestion. Put them on the list too.
Review: Coast HP7 LED Torch Review
Red Wing EXOS Lite Boots
When you're walking around the shattered remains of a bygone world, constantly watching your back and dodging the recently dead for a split second, you don't have time to worry about your feet getting you down. "Foot" means boots. work boots. You want them to be waterproof, secure, and thick enough to handle severe penetration from nails, glass, and the occasional shattered jawbone.
The Red Wing boot has been on our short list for a while now. The Red Wing EXOS Lite boot combines comfort and safety – trust me, you should have both. The EXOS Lite boots are lightweight (as the name suggests). They won't slow you down as you dash towards the nearest doorway or weapon. Thanks to the BOA system, they "lace up" quickly. This means your eyes won't be caught by the boots when they're supposed to be scanning the horizon for moving targets. Best of all, they're waterproof…and therefore bloodproof, which is even more important in this case.
SEE ALSO: Timberland Pro Helix Work Boots with Safety Toe Review
Carhartt Carthage Breathable Safety Glasses
You can't face a world full of wandering souls if you don't experience the gore you deserve. I don't know about you, but I can't stand the mess of flying body parts in the eyes. Blood stings a lot more than shampoo, and it has better staying power. Plus, depending on the pressure, a little blood in the eye could mean that you're going to zombify next.
You probably just want a decent pair of safety glasses, but we've picked out a great pair of stylish goggles. We love the Carhartt Carthage Vented Goggles. They look more like sunglasses than goggles, but they give you wraparound protection for when you and your buddy are chopping off limbs or otherwise keeping the ex-human from stuffing you into what he's already half , don't let anything blind you – eat your face. Carhartt Carthage Breathable Safety Glasses are available in a variety of colors, but did you know what – the world is yours now, so feel free to shop for glasses in a variety of colors and styles. For general use we recommend gunmetal lenses, but they are also available in grey.
gorilla tape
that's right. We reserved a whole spot for duct tape, the ultimate tool for a world covered in reanimated corpses, I don't know, they care more about getting a bite out of you than wearing clothes or finding something useful productive things to get through the rest of their zombie lives. Now, when we say "get some tape," we don't just mean a few rolls. I mean, find a distribution center and load the back of the F-650…or better yet, just use one of the trucks parked at the loading dock to pull the duct tape to transport the contents of the container. You're going to need a lot of these.
Duct tape is good for a lot of things. Use it to attach booby traps to steel and metal. Bind up your recently bitten comrade, he's dead but doesn't know it yet. You can even cover the broken side window you had to kick out of the car to clear the way for your escape. Gorilla Duct Tape even comes in a variety of colors if that's your thing…hey, make it yours.
honor award
For those who want more, we've added more to the list as "Honorable Mentions." These items make up our initial checklist. They quickly disappeared when more important tools appeared. When we say "more important," we usually mean that they have greater practical value. Others are easier to write (wait, did I just say that out loud?) In either case, let's not forget…
MTech USA Xtreme Tactical Knife
Not saying "I like to kill me some zombies!" is like a melee tactical knife. These knives were popular in World War I, but today they look much more aggressive. We have to admit, we really couldn't let this list pass without making it an honorable mention.
On this list of the top 10 tools needed for a zombie apocalypse, a good knife seems essential. This particular tactical knife is black with a G10 handle and a 5.5" 440 stainless steel blade. The knife also comes with a black nylon sheath, a fully adjustable nylon sheath that allows you to carry this knife in any way you see fit. All told, this knife measures 11 inches from the bottom of the handle to the tip. It's not a killing machine, but in your hands, you could be one.
Gerber Apocalypse Kit
Of course, we can't fail to mention Gerber's apocalypse kit, based on a weapon seen on The Walking Dead TV show. While the kit itself is no longer available, you can pick up every single item it contains, and honestly, why wouldn't you? Well, for one thing, many of the tools are impractical and somewhat repetitive – however, we still have to give them credit for putting them together and making a canvas case to house them.
The kit includes three machetes, including the Gator and the Gator Pro – which are quite different in design (although we think the Pro, while absolutely incredible to look at, would be one of a kind due to its short length and U-turn edge Difficult to use weapons). It also features the 17" long Camp Ax II and the Parang, a third machete that looks like it was dropped by someone in the Royal Moroccan Army. The LMF II Infantry is a nice looking 10-1/2" knife that looks the part, and the DMF Folder is your all-purpose EDK knife. The last item in the kit is another knife, the Epic, we think it is Totally Hollywood–too small for any use, except of course for the rear-mounted corkscrew…which might make it all worth it.
epilogue
So you made it this far. We know that not everyone can fully agree with our choices. Of course, no one will be fully prepared to fight the zombie hoard once the virus starts mutating and spreading across the continent. There are too many unknowns to be fully prepared for it all. Of course, we do recommend escaping to rural areas and setting up some cover.
This is what we got. Go to them – or at least be prepared so you don't become part of the problem – know what I mean?